you just broke your child

i recently read an article called You Just Broke Your Child by Single Dad Laughing and i want to share the article and an experience i had.


this reminded me of a time we took our boys to a restaurant not too long after we returned from life rocks conference (which was a very stressful time for us, not the conference, but the return journey). we were at the end of our meal and the boys were up from the table and exploring the restaurant (it was mid-week and not that busy). i was pretty stressed and tired and wanted nothing more than the boys to sit until we were leaving. Josh (my amazing hubs) talked to me about the stress and my own tiredness and the fact that the boys were ok. we would get up and follow them when they got out of sight and follow them back to the table, each of us (even my mom who was with us) patiently followed the boys walking (sometimes running) around the place. although i was having a hard time, we still showed the same respect and love to our children that we do when the groove is good for all. while i was talking to my hubs about my issues, a gentleman from a few tables over came up to our table. i had a feeling, just knew, he was going to say something negative about the way the boys were acting, but what he said was quite to the contrary. he said keep up the good work! he said that we hadn't 'broken' our boys and that we needed to continue what we were doing. he was impressed that our children didn't fear us, that the didn't flinch away from us when we got up to follow them around the restaurant. he commented how nice it was to see that the boys were not afraid of us and that by the time kids are ike's age (9) they have that fear of adults, especially their parents. WOW! i thank the man for his comments and we chatted for a moments before everyone left. it is very important to remember the importance of not giving your child fear, especially of those who promise to love them and take care of them and are suppose to help them explore this big big world. remember words are important, actions are important!! never take that for granted. now anytime that i wish the boys would just do as i say (because there are those moments) i slow down and remember what this stranger said! what a difference his words made on that day.

life lessons

I was upstairs doing laundry when I started to smell a burning smell. I had just put a load of laundry in the dryer and thought that might but the cause, but it wasn’t. As I went down the stairs the smell got stronger. looking at the lkiving room, I noticed there was something strange about the lamp and lampshade, weird shadows. the burning smell increased as I moved closer, looking down into the lampshade I see Puppsters, Ike’s favorite stuff friend. he has had puppsters most of his life. as I grab puppsters I notice he is damaged. his fur had melted to the light bulb. his stuffing was showing and his right paw was only attached by a small piece, the rest being melted away completely. as I took the stuffed toy into the kitchen, tears welled in my eyes. when ike had seen the damaged he began to wail. I felt so sad. he asked if I could fix him, I would see what I could do. I explained to him that puppsters isn’t going to be the same as before, but I think I could do something. I grabbed the scissors, and needle and thread. There was nothing I could do to save the right paw, I cut it off. the melted edges of his body were also snipped away. I removed all of the stuffing that was burned or singed. I put new stuffing in, giving him a little extra padding. then, with needle and thread, I began to sew. when I was done, I set puppsters down. he looks a little lopsided, but he was the same old friend. he would snuggle the same, he would listen the same, he would play the same, but he was different now. he was missing his right arm. I showed him to ike, who immediately grabbed him and shoved him under his arm, puppsters’ familiar spot. I asked if puppsters was ok. ike said he was. I had to take puppsters back then. I still needed to clean him up. you could smell the burnt, you could still see the singe. after a cycle in the washer and dryer, puppsters came out smelling good and looking great.
ike was faced with the reality that his favorite stuff friend would never be quite the same. He didn’t care, he just wanted his friend.
wondering why puppsters was in the lamp? ian was hiding puppsters from ike, not knowing that the bulb would hurt him. he felt terrible when he seen the damage done. He sat beside me the whole time I worked on puppsters. he wanted to go and buy another. I had to explained to him that I couldn’t buy another, it wouldn’t be the same. once I was done with sewing I showed puppsters to him. I told him puppsters was ok, but he would look different. oh the sadness in the little boy’s eyes. you could see how bad he felt. poor guy . this event has made an impression on him. he still isn’t completely ok with puppsters having one arm. both ike and puppsters have forgiven ian, not ian needs to forgive himself.

                             
these are the after pictures of puppsters. not too bad.