Thursday, June 27, 2013

you just broke your child

i recently read an article called You Just Broke Your Child by Single Dad Laughing and i want to share the article and an experience i had.

this reminded me of a time we took our boys to a restaurant not too long after we returned from life rocks conference (which was a very stressful time for us, not the conference, but the return journey). we were at the end of our meal and the boys were up from the table and exploring the restaurant (it was mid-week and not that busy). i was pretty stressed and tired and wanted nothing more than the boys to sit until we were leaving. Josh (my amazing hubs) talked to me about the stress and my own tiredness and the fact that the boys were ok. we would get up and follow them when they got out of sight and follow them back to the table, each of us (even my mom who was with us) patiently followed the boys walking (sometimes running) around the place. although i was having a hard time, we still showed the same respect and love to our children that we do when the groove is good for all. while i was talking to my hubs about my issues, a gentleman from a few tables over came up to our table. i had a feeling, just knew, he was going to say something negative about the way the boys were acting, but what he said was quite to the contrary. he said keep up the good work! he said that we hadn't 'broken' our boys and that we needed to continue what we were doing. he was impressed that our children didn't fear us, that the didn't flinch away from us when we got up to follow them around the restaurant. he commented how nice it was to see that the boys were not afraid of us and that by the time kids are ike's age (9) they have that fear of adults, especially their parents. WOW! i thank the man for his comments and we chatted for a moments before everyone left. it is very important to remember the importance of not giving your child fear, especially of those who promise to love them and take care of them and are suppose to help them explore this big big world. remember words are important, actions are important!! never take that for granted. now anytime that i wish the boys would just do as i say (because there are those moments) i slow down and remember what this stranger said! what a difference his words made on that day.