Monday, January 9, 2012

thoughts on our journey so far

our family is going through the de-schooling process (about 3 months now). really it is Josh (hubs) and i that are de-schooling, the boys have never been to school. it has been such a personal journey for us, because we are making such major changes in the way we live life with our children. in the very very beginning i was getting frustrated because there was no one way, no checklist, for getting to that goal of "unschooling". i am finding out that it is not a goal or an end point, but really it is a lifestyle. everything needs to change, for us it feels like a shift, a slide over. one of the big things we (josh & i) have to deal with is letting go of the control/the need to control our children. we also work on dealing with the anger (which , actually once we let go of the control, we let go of a lot of anger). i find the more i read about unschooling, gentle parenting type i am finding more ways to control myself, i find better ways (tools if you will) for handling situations i kept running into with my kids (and, amazingly, these tools also help me when dealing with other people, lol) when i come across a concept or thought that really affects me, i write it down, i come back to it, i think about it.
in a chat i remember being asked if i thought that unschoolers came from a different planet. in the beginning it seems like it, especially when experienced ones seem to have all the answers, although none seemed to be exactly the answer i was looking for. they were "getting" some thing i just couldn't completely wrap my brain around. i believe it is Sandra that gives the advise, read a little, do a little. boy has hat been helpful and exactly what i am doing.
one of the first things we did was get rid of school, any idea, thought, project, movie that even remotely looked like what we called school is avoided. no workbooks, no online classes, nothing (unless, of course, the boys initiate something). this was pretty easy for us because i really never wanted to be a teacher in any traditional sense. then i read and asked about media (tv, computer, video games), we are now letting go of control over these devises (which , for me, has been the hardest thing). once i have made this my own, we will move on to bedtimes. this is the transitional journey we (hubs and i) are on. one step at a time, becoming more and more confident in our lifestyle choice. we have begun seeing the wonderful effects already.